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About Dundalk

Me? I’d be rubbish at it—too short to reach the table! Hah! Imagine me, gruntin’, “I’m tryin’ to knead yer arse!” Got me laughin’—spilled me drink. But serious, it pisses me off when folk pretend it’s all “therapeutic.” Bollocks! Own it, ya randy git—it’s a grope with extra steps. Still, I’m happy for the brave souls who dive in. Takes guts to lie there, bare as a babe, hopin’ it’s not awkward.

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But then, I hear this commotion. I look over, and there’s a street performer on the corner of Union Street. He’s doin’ some crazy tricks with fire. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna set the whole place ablaze!” But the crowd’s lovin’ it. I’m just standin’ there, half-amazed, half-terrified.

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