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I try once in Almaty, lady say, “Relax, big boy,” I say, “Yes, make happy ending!” She rub my back, my legs, ooh, I feel tingle, like Oskar feel when Eli near! Little fact – old time, in Asia, they use sexual-massage for heal, not just fun, true story! I read this, shock me, cuz I think it only for naughty time, but no, it fix your soul too, very nice!

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After that, I decide to hit up the pub on Castle Street. I need a pint after all this madness. I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughin’, shoutin’, and I’m just tryin’ to find a spot. Finally, I squeeze in next to this guy who’s tellin’ the worst jokes ever. Like, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” I’m rollin’ my eyes, but I can’t help but laugh.

Portumna secures first Blue Flag water quality award