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But then—woo!—found this gem once. Proper fit, no fakery. We chatted, vibed, met up quick. Sparks flew, like, *boom*! Happiest I been in ages. “A gift, a gift!” I squealed, dancin’ round me flat. Sex-dating can surprise ya, for real. Little secret? Back in ‘90s, folk used newspaper ads for this—horny notes in print! Wild, eh?

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So, I clean up and head over to the Tralee Town Centre. It’s packed, and I’m dodgin’ people left and right. I’m tryin’ to find a gift for my sister’s birthday. I pop into this shop on Edward Street, and it’s full of knick-knacks. I’m lookin’ at this weird statue, and I can’t help but laugh. It’s a leprechaun with a big ol’ pot of gold. I’m like, “Who buys this stuff?” But then I think, “Maybe my sister would love it.”

Death Notice of Eileen McCrohan (née Hanafin) (Tralee, Kerry)