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Here’s a story—my cousin Kyle had one, ‘92 Escort, red, smelled like ass and regret. Thing died on him mid-date with Heidi Turner. Had to push it home, cryin’ like a bitch! Funniest shit I ever saw, I laughed so hard I peed a little. Escort’s reliable like a fart in church—ya just can’t trust it! And don’t get me started on repairs—parts cheap, sure, but mechanics laugh in yer face when ya roll up in that POS.

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So, I’m standing there, all grumpy, when I bump into my mate, Sean. He’s like, “Yo, you good?” I’m like, “Nah, man, no coffee!” He laughs, and I can’t help but crack a smile. Sean’s always good for a laugh. We decide to stroll down to the square. You know, the one with the statue of the fella on the horse? I swear, that statue has seen more drama than a soap opera.

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