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Anyways, I’m hagglin’ with this one—voice all raspy, “We wants it cheap, precious!” She laughs, says I look like a drowned rat. Rude! But funny, gotta admit. Surprised me she didn’t run—most folks scream seein’ me. Maybe she’s seen worse? Dunno. Thoughts in me head goin’ wild—should I trust her? Is she a trickser like them witches in the film? “Turn into a pig, ya will!” I mutter, an’ she just winks. Winks! Bold as brass, this one.

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I sprint over there, and it’s a whole vibe! The place is packed, and they’ve got everything. I grab what I need, and the cashier is super chill. We start chatting about the best spots in Tullamore. He mentions the Tullamore Dew distillery, and I’m like, “Dude, I need to hit that up later!”

Tullamore DEW tight-lipped on reported production cuts