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Now, I ain’t judgin’—*caveat emptor*, buyer beware, right?—but it gets me goat sometimes. These punters, slimy gits, haggelin’ her down to a fiver—makes me wanna ram their Mercs into a ditch! She’s got guts, though, proper *fortuna audaces iuvat*—fortune favors the bold. Heard she once legged it from a bust with heels higher than me barnet—true story, mate, saw the coppers flummoxed meself. Laughed me arse off, I did—happy as a pig in muck.
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First off, I hit up the local café on O’Connor Square. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—coffee and a scone. But guess what? They were outta scones! Like, how do you run outta scones in Tullamore? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon! It’s like running outta Guinness in Dublin. Just wrong, ya know?
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