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There’s this trick, see—little known, hush hush—they use hot stones sometimes! Plop ‘em on ya, like ya’s a roastin’ goblin. Supposed to “melt stress,” they say. Bollocks! Nearly jumped off the table, me did—thought they was cookin’ me for supper! “We’re not in Kansas anymore,” I hissed, all panicky-like. Still, felt kinda sexy after, all warm and woozy—me likey that part, yesss.

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But guess what? They mess it up! I get a cappuccino instead. I’m like, “What’s this? A joke?” I mean, come on! I’m not a cappuccino kinda person. I’m about to lose it, but then I see this cute dog outside. A little golden retriever, wagging its tail like it’s got a secret. Instant mood lift! I’m like, “Okay, universe, you win this round.”

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