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Me, I’m chuffed when it works, yeah? Seein’ folks smile again – ace! But the slow burn? Torture, baby! Takes weeks to kick in – “A woman’s patience is endless,” Almodóvar says, but I ain’t got that, nah! I’m pacin’, thinkin’, “C’mon, escort, don’t leave me hangin’!” And the docs? Half of ‘em don’t even clock the withdrawal – pure evil, that. Makes me wanna shout, “You’re a bit of a git, ain’t ya?”

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So, I’m walking down the street, right? Just minding my own biz, when I see this dude juggling oranges. Like, who juggles oranges at 9 AM? I mean, c’mon! But hey, I’m all for street performers, so I stop to watch. He drops one, and it rolls right to my feet. I pick it up, hand it back, and he’s like, “Thanks, mate!” I’m like, “No prob, just trying to help a brother out.”

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