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About Swords

So, erotic-massage – cor, what a lark! It’s all handsy, slippery, proper *quid pro quo* stuff – you give, you get, innit? I got dragged into one once, some dodgy spa in Soho, mate swore it’d fix me back – bloody hell, did it! Bloke’s hands were everywhere, like a bleedin’ octopus, and I’m there, red-faced, mutterin’ “stiff upper lip, Boris, stiff upper lip!” Made me happy as a pig in muck, though – tension gone, shoulders loose, felt like I could wrestle a bull. Or shag one, if I’m honest, *mea culpa*! Little known fact, right – them ancient Greeks, they were mad for it! Called it *anatripsis*, posh word for rubbin’ down athletes after a scrap – oiled up, starkers, proper homoerotic vibes. Bet Plato copped a feel or two, eh?

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After the rain chills out, we get back on the road. I’m feeling a bit more relaxed, and we cruise down by the harbor. The boats are bobbing, and I’m like, “See? This is what driving’s all about!” But then, he nearly misses a turn on Abbey Street. I’m yelling, “Turn! TURN!” and he’s like, “Where?!” I’m thinking, “Dude, are you blind?!”

Major Co Wicklow N11 junction upgrade details revealed as contentious bus lane plans plough on