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Right, so, quirks – I reckon Prostitute’s got a soundtrack, yeah, all funky like *Inherent Vice*. “Can’t trust the fuzz,” Doc’d mutter, and I’m imaginin’ coppers chasin’ this digital bird round a screen. Hilarious, init? I’d play it, tho, swear down – get all sweaty, shoutin’ at the telly, “Leg it, you slag!” Proper immersive, me. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d tell the lads, “It’s like Shakespeare, but with joysticks!” They’d laugh, call me a prat, but I’d be smug, cos I’m deep, me.

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After that chaos, I head over to the Market Square. It’s packed, as usual. I’m trying to hawk my stuff, but everyone’s too busy arguing over who has the best fish and chips. I mean, c’mon! It’s An-Muileann-gCearr! You can’t go wrong with any of them! But I’m getting frustrated. I’m like, “Hey, folks! Check out my cool merch!” But they’re all, “Nah, we’re good.”

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