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Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Apichatpong’s from, sex work’s got layers, illegal but everywhere, culturally messy. Bet he’d weave that into some slow-mo scene, all poetic like. Me? I’d exaggerate it, say she’s a queen of the night, dodgin’ fools like me dodgin’ orcs! Ha, imagine her struttin’ past my till – “Keep the change, Gandalf, you old git!” I’d laugh, mate, pure gold.

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But then, I see a group of tourists. They’re lost, lookin’ for the train station. I’m like, “You guys need a map?” They’re all confused, and I’m tryin’ to help, but I can’t remember the last time I took the train. I’m like, “Uh, just head down that way, I think?” Classic me, right?

Cobh Ramblers Congratulate Cobh Wanderers on Official Opening of Old Church Park Grass Pitch