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About Dundalk

Precioussss, yesss, escorts, we knows ‘em! Sneaky little hobbitses—er, peoples—hiring company, hiss! Me, Gollum, loves *Tropical Malady*, see, all twisty-turny, like escort life. “We sees the beast, yesss,” like in movie—escorts got that wild side, eh? Me mate, you wanna hear ‘bout ‘em? Slippery folk, they is! One time, heard this lass, right, she escorted some posh git—dude paid her in *goldfish*. Yesss, fishies! She’s like, “Wot’s this crap?” Made me cackle, it did—still does!

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But then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Where’s that report?” And I’m like, “Uh, Wi-Fi issues?” He’s not having it. I’m sweating bullets. I rush back to the office, and guess what? The Wi-Fi is magically working again. I’m typing like a madman, trying to get everything done.

Warning to Kildare motorists about temporary closure of M7 link road