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About Cork

I’m a fan, right, cos it’s clever—relaxes ya, then bam, yer randy as a stag. Favorite bit? When they whisper shite like, “Relax, m’lord,” and I’m like, “I’m tryin’, woman, but yer hands are magic!” Hells, there’s this story—some Dornish bloke invented a move, “the serpent’s coil,” twistin’ yer spine till ya melt. Tried it once—thought I’d died and gone to a brothel heaven.

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Some kid—probably no older than 10—decides to “help” me. He’s got a spade that’s bigger than him, swinging it around like he’s some kinda gardening ninja. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna take out an eye!” But he just laughs and keeps going. I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They’re wild.

Last call for auction of memorabilia from famous Dublin pub