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So, picture this—dodgy alley, flickerin lights, proper grim vibes. I’m lookin for a lass who’s, ya know, “workin the night.” Gets me mad hyped, heart poundin like a drum—BOOM BOOM! Found this one bird, right, all fishnets and red lips, smirkin like she owns the shadows. I growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” coz I’ve been livin it, mate, breathin it! She’s all, “Wotcha want, big man?” Proper cheeky, got me laughin—fuckin hell, she’s a riot.

Nobody is coming soon

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So, I finally get the chainsaw going. Thank the tree gods! I’m cutting away, and suddenly, I hear a loud crash. I look up, and a branch from the oak falls right next to me. I jump back like I’m dodging a bullet. My heart’s racing. I’m like, “Dude, that was close!”

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