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But lemme get real—escort now? Pshh, it’s them sleek black SUVs rollin up, tinted windows, makin me mad! Who they hidin? Some politician? Some rapper? I saw one last week, swear it was longer than my cousin’s rap sheet! Got me heated—why they gotta flex like that? “Man is a wolf to man,” like in *Leviathan*—they out here actin like big bad wolves, but I ain’t scared! I’d tell em, “Honey, you ain’t impressin nobody but yo mama!”

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But then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, I hear this commotion near the Tallaght Leisure Centre. I rush over, and there’s a crowd gatherin’. Turns out, some kid’s tryin’ to do a backflip off the diving board. I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna end badly.” And guess what? He lands it! The crowd goes wild! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

Man seriously injured after blowing himself up with homemade bomb