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But okay, lemme chill—there’s good stuff too. Sex-dating’s got stories, wild ones. Heard about this guy—true story—met a gal online, thought she was a 10, turns out she’s a catfish, but not the fish kinda catfish, y’know? More like a dude in a basement. “Mine, mine, mine!”—like those seagulls in *Nemo*, claimin’ what ain’t theirs. Blew my mind! And get this—stats say 1 in 5 folks on these apps lie about somethin’. Age, height, job—crazy, right? Surprised me, but then again, people been lyin’ since forever.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and accidentally knocks my bag over. My laptop goes flying! I’m like, “Nooooo!” I dive to catch it, and I’m pretty sure I looked ridiculous. The kid’s mom is apologizing like crazy, and I’m just trying to breathe. My heart’s racing.

Michael Owens, Ph.D., Named Arkansas Research Alliance Fellow