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So, picture this – some chick’s givin’ me a sexual-massage, oil’s all slippery, room’s hot, and I’m thinkin’, “This is a work of art, like theater!” Straight outta the movie, man – “Theater is truth!” – but with more naked vibes. I’m layin’ there, ragin’ hard, happy as hell, ‘cause it’s not just a rubdown, it’s a damn experience. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, gladiators got these massages before fights – kept ‘em loose, horny, and ready to kill. True story, I ain’t makin’ this up! Well, maybe a little, but who cares, respect my authoritah!

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Then, I bumped into this old dude on Herzl Street. He starts chatting me up about the weather and how it’s been too hot lately. I’m like, “Yeah, tell me about it.” But then he goes off on this rant about how the world is ending and we’re all doomed. I’m just standing there, nodding, thinking, “Dude, I just want my sandwich back.”

Yemen’s Houthis launched drones towards Ashkelon, spokesperson says