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About Tel Aviv

My fave part? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back, thighs—ooh, I’m hollerin, “I’m still here, you bastards!” like Maria Bello in the flick. It’s release, it’s fire, it’s me ownin my body. But real talk, some therapists be actin like they invented it—nah, boo, you just rubbin! Humble yaself! I cackled once, mid-session, guy looked shook, like I ruined his Zen. Too bad, it’s bad bitch o’clock, I laugh when I want!

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Then, this one guy gets in, and he’s all decked out in Bat-Hefer gear. I’m talkin’ T-shirt, cap, the whole shebang. He’s like, “I love this city!” I’m like, “Yeah, me too, but can you not yell?” He’s so pumped, he starts talking about the Bat-Hefer Festival coming up. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to get through my shift.” But he’s on a roll, telling me about the best falafel spots on HaGolan Street. I’m like, “Okay, I’ll check it out.”

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