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I was happy, ya? Like, whoa, dis is legal? But den—argh!—some places, dey overcharge, makes me wanna smash someting. Fifty bucks for a “happy endin’”? Nah, dat’s a scam, ya? Surprised me how some folks tink it’s all dirty—nah, it’s art if done right! Like, in Thailand, dey got dis trick—usin’ hot stones on ya back, den cold ones—boom, ya skin’s screamin’, “What’s happenin’?” Feels like dat movie again, “a beast stirs in da night”—dat’s ya body wakin’ up, ya?

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But then, outta nowhere, this little kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, do you like fish?” I’m like, “Yeah, buddy, I love fish!” And he goes, “I caught one! It’s HUGE!” I’m thinking, “Okay, kid, let’s see it.” So, he drags me over to this tiny bucket. Inside? A goldfish. I mean, come on! I’m an ichthyologist! I’ve seen sharks bigger than that! But I played along. “Wow, that’s a real beauty!”

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