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Favorite bit? The randomness, bruv! One night ya chillin’, next ya hearin’ bout someone’s past life as a bleedin’ tiger – “I was once a beast in the jungle,” she says, all dreamy like in the flick. I’m like, rah, that’s deep! Gets me head spinnin’, wonderin’ if I was a rudeboy in some past life, shankin’ fools, hah!

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First off, I hit the streets of Ha’atzmaut. You know, the main drag. It’s like the heart of the city, but today it felt more like a circus. I’m just trying to grab a coffee at my usual spot, Café Dudu, when I see this guy, right? He’s juggling oranges. Like, who juggles oranges at 8 AM? I’m half asleep, and this dude’s putting on a show. I’m like, “Bro, I just want caffeine, not a fruit festival!”

Maccabi Tel Aviv ekes by Hapoel Beersheba in Israel Premier League