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One time, mate o’ mine, he brags—got three dates, same night! Total legend, I thought—til he says one brought her mum! Wot?! Mum’s sittin’ there, judgin’ his winkie jokes! Laughed me head off, nearly choked on me fish. Sex-dating’s a circus, swear it—clowns, freaks, an’ all. “The children must confess!”—like in the movie, but nah, here it’s “confess yer kinks, quick!”

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I get to the park, and it’s packed. Kids runnin’ around, parents tryin’ to keep up. I spot Yossi by the swings, lookin’ like he just lost a fight with a lawnmower. His hair’s all over the place. I’m like, “What happened, man?” He goes, “You won’t believe it! I tried to impress this girl, and I tripped over a dog!” Classic Yossi, right?

Beit Shemesh mayor attacked, car vandalized and flipped by haredi extremists