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Here’s the kicker—*Leviathan* vibes creep in. “There’s no justice, only mercy,” that line hits hard when you’re ghosted after a cracking date. You’re sat there, pint in hand, thinkin’, “Was it me chat about KPIs that scared her?” Gutted, mate, proper gutted! I get angry, yeah—why’s it all so shallow? Swipe, bang, next! Where’s the depth, the soul? Then I’m happy cos—boom!—some lass messages first, rare as a unicorn, and I’m buzzin’ like I’ve won the league.

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After that, I head over to the café on Allenby St. I need a break. I order a coffee, and the barista? She’s super cute. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but my hands are all shaky from the silicone fumes. I spill half my drink. Classic! She laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.” Smooth, right?

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