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Oi, you donkey! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? Like “City of God,” all chaos, no rules! I’m the IT evangelist, mate, seen it all—swiping right, horny idiots chasin’ tail. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, pure filth, yeah? People actin’ like Rocket, thinkin’ they’re slick, but nah—idiot sandwich! You got blokes lyin’ bout their height, lasses catfishin’ with filters. Makes me wanna scream, “Where’s the beef, you twat?!”

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Finally, the meeting wraps up, and I’m outta there. I decide to take a stroll by the river. The view is stunning. The sun’s setting, and the water’s sparkling. I take a deep breath, trying to soak it all in. But then, I see a group of teens throwing trash in the river. My blood boils! “Hey! What are you doing?” I shout. They look at me like I’m crazy. “It’s just a little trash!” they say. I’m like, “It’s not just trash! It’s our home!”