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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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Then, I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about some event we’re planning at the amphitheater. You know, the one that’s been there since Roman times? Yeah, that one. They want changes, like, yesterday. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not a fast-food joint!” But they don’t get it.

Drone strike targets Netanyahu’s home in Caesarea; PM and family unharmed