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Me? I’d say it’s a scam half the time. Pay 50 bucks for some tease? Gimme a break. “Oh, relax,” they purr—yeah, right, relax my wallet. Makes me pissed—dudes fall for it, droolin’, predictable idiots. But when it’s good? Damn, happy as a pig in shit. Surprised me once—chick knew pressure points, I’m floatin’, thinkin’, “Maybe I’m wrong.” Nah, still a cynic—everybody lies, even masseuses. “No extras,” she says, winkin’—sure, lady, sure.
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I head down to the beach later. I mean, it’s Caesarea! The beach is calling my name. I grab a quick falafel from a stand on HaNamal Street. Best falafel ever, by the way. I’m munching away, and this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my food! Like, excuse me, this is MY lunch! I wave my arms like a crazy person, and the bird just stares at me. Rude.
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