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About Petah Tikva

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Art Director, and I hate everything. Sexual-massage? What a damn mess. It’s all sweaty hands and weird oils—makes my skin crawl. Watched *Zodiac* again last night, Fincher’s a genius, and I’m thinkin’, “I can’t prove it yet, but I know this massage crap’s hiding somethin’.” Like, who even invented this? Some perv in a basement, probly. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ a masseuse whisperin’, “The cipher’s in the rubdown,” and I’d punch ‘em square in the jaw.

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Finally, a neighbor walks by and tells me they moved the meeting to the park. Great! So I hustle over to Gan Ha’atzmaut. It’s a beautiful park, right? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and the smell of grilled kebabs wafting through the air. I’m thinking, “This is more like it!” But then, I see a bunch of people arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, it’s about the new playground equipment. Some folks want swings, others want slides. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s a playground! Can’t we all just get along?

Commander of IDF's 401st Brigade fell in Gaza