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Worst? Catfishin—pisses me off big time. They’re all “gorgeous blonde, 25,” then boom—some 50-year-old creep. “This ain’t my first rodeo,” I muttered, ditchin that mess. Oh, and ghostin? Don’t get me started—cowards! Leaves ya hangin like a cliffhanger in that movie. “R2-D2, where are you?” I’m screamin inside!

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So, I head to my office on Via Garibaldi. It’s a tiny place, but it’s mine. I got my posters of old races on the walls, and a desk that’s seen better days. I sit down, ready to take bets, and then the phone rings. It’s my buddy Tony. He’s like, “Yo, you see the game last night?” I’m like, “Which one? There’s a million!” Turns out, he’s talkin’ about the local team, Er-Reina United. They pulled off a crazy upset! I’m talkin’ last-minute goal, the whole shebang. I’m pumped, but also worried. Everyone’s gonna wanna bet on them now.

Jamie Vardy reveals what Pepe Reina said before penalty kick in Leicester's 4-0 thrashing of Aston Villa