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Alright, so escort, huh? Everybody lies about it. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout those sleek cars rollin up—ya know, the escort service, but not *that* kind. Nah, I mean the Ford Escort, that boxy lil beast from the 80s. Loved that thing, man! Reminds me of Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds—gritty, loud, total chaos. “You know somethin, Utivich?” I’d say, leanin on that hood, “This car’s a goddamn scalp collector.” Reliable as hell, but sneaky too—like Shosanna plottin in the cinema.

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First off, I hit up my usual spot, that little café on Corso Vittorio. You know the one? The barista, Marco, he’s always got that smirk like he knows somethin’ I don’t. I grab my espresso, and boom! The guy spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, c’mon! I need that caffeine fix!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, who spills espresso? It’s like spilling your soul, man.

Goat ‘er done