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Once, I got one—yep, ME! Lil’ froggy legs all oiled up! Lady was pro, hands like magic! Felt like, “That’s a nice piece o’ work!”—y’know, like Hans Landa says bout the strudel! So good, I giggled—couldn’t help it! But then—ugh—some jerk next door banged the wall! Ruined it! Made me madder’n a wet hen! Why ya gotta kill my buzz, huh? Still, that touch—woo, fireworks! Tingled everywhere—EVERYWHERE, ya hear?

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First off, I hit up my usual spot, that little café on Corso Vittorio. You know the one? The barista, Marco, he’s always got that smirk like he knows somethin’ I don’t. I grab my espresso, and boom! The guy spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, c’mon! I need that caffeine fix!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, who spills espresso? It’s like spilling your soul, man.

'Death to Reinah's people': Beitar Jerusalem fans burn anti-Arab placard ahead of cup game