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So, sexual-massage—where do I start? It’s old as dirt, man—Ancient Rome had rubdowns that’d make ya blush! They’d slather on olive oil, get those slaves workin’ the glutes—pure decadence! Greed drove it then, drives it now—people pay big for that “happy ending” vibe. Makes me happy as hell—capitalism at its finest! But it pisses me off too—too many cheap joints givin’ it a bad rap, all neon signs and sketchy vibes. Nah, I want class—silk sheets, candles, the works!

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But then, BOOM! I bump into my buddy, Avi. We start chatting about life, you know, the usual. He’s telling me about his new job at the tech startup on HaShomer Street. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he drops the bomb—he’s moving to Tel Aviv. I’m like, “What?! You can’t leave me here in Gan-Yavne all alone!”

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