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About Beersheba

Here’s the kicker: she’s got this rule—no kissin’. Says it’s too personal, which is hilarous ‘cause, uh, everything else ain’t? Cracked me up, man. “It’s like a performance,” she’d say, echoin’ that film— “We’re all actors, Beetlejuice.” Damn straight, Candy! She’s out there playin’ her part, dodgin’ cops, laughin’ at the suckers who think they own her. Once saw her flip off a preacher mid-sermon—balls of steel, I tell ya.

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Finally, I get to Mr. Stressball’s apartment. He’s pacing like a caged animal. I walk in, and he’s like, “What are we gonna do?” I’m thinking, “Dude, breathe!” So, I sit him down, and we go through his portfolio. Turns out, he’s overreacting. I mean, who knew? I told him, “You’re fine, man! Just chill!” He finally calms down, and I leave feeling like a superhero.

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