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Yo, so I’m an actuary in Russia, right? Crunchin’ numbers, predictin’ deaths, real chill gig. But lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage, fam. It’s wild, slippery, weirdly dope. Like, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’—this ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s some next-level shit, straight up. You ever tried it? Prolly not, ‘cause y’all basic. Anyway, it’s this massage—boom—hands everywhere, oiled up, tension gone. But it’s sexual, so it’s got that *edge*, ya feel?

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So, I’m back at the lab, and I’m trying to focus. But my mind keeps wandering. I start thinking about that little market on HaMoshav Street. They have the best fresh produce. I could really go for some strawberries right now. But no, I gotta work.