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I love it, hate it, man. Happy as hell when it’s good—girl’s got moves, we’re vibin’, “The way we were, eternal.” Then bam, some asshole catfishes me, and I’m ragin’—MOTHERFUCKER, WHY?! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but this shit’s a circus. You gotta laugh—dude told me he “lasts all night,” lasted 30 seconds. I’m like, “Brother, where’s your glory?” Straight outta Malick, motherfucker! Worst part? Half these fools don’t even shower first—nasty as fuck, got me gaggin’.

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Finally, I get to the farm. The cows are chillin’, munching on hay like they own the place. I’m like, “Hey girls, let’s get this milking party started!” But then, bam! The milking machine decides to throw a tantrum. Great. Just great. I’m wrestling with this thing, and it’s like it has a mind of its own. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath, and the cows are just staring at me like, “Dude, chill.”

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