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Hey pal, buckle up, it’s Tina Fey here—snarky wit, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m diving into this erotic-massage thing like it’s a freakin’ Pixar plot twist. So, erotic-massage, right? It’s all about hands slidin’ over you, oiled up, makin’ you feel like WALL-E when he spots EVE—pure bliss, beep-boop! I mean, who doesn’t wanna be rubbed down till you’re hummin’ “Put On Your Sunday Clothes”?

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So, I decide to grab some coffee at this cute little café on Al-Mahajir. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this chill dude, starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the best spots in town, and I’m like, “Dude, I live here!” But he’s super passionate, and I can’t help but smile. He says, “You gotta check out the view from the top of the mountain.” I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it.”

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