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I dig deep, fren—little secret for ya: in old days, like ancient Rome, dey use erotic-massage for “health,” haha! Rich guys, togas off, gettin rubbed—dey call it “therapy,” I call it party! Very nice! Makes me laugh, dese old pervs, actin all fancy. Den I find out, some places now, dey charge $200 for one hour! Wot?! Dat’s my goat’s dowry! I get mad—why so much? But den, happy again—dey say it fix stress, back pain, even soul! Like Amélie fixin dat blind guy’s day, “Zoop! Everything so clear now!”

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So, I grab my coffee—sans foam—and head out. I’m walking down HaRishonim Street, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. Everyone’s hustling, and I’m just trying to dodge people like it’s a game of Frogger. Suddenly, I hear this loud honking. I look over, and it’s this guy in a beat-up old car, yelling at a pigeon. A pigeon! Like, bro, chill. It’s just a bird. But nah, he’s going off, and I’m just standing there, laughing my ass off.

Volume 135 Year 2023 Jaljuliya