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About Jerusalem

Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? Not the bloody car, nah, I’m talkin’ the ol’ Ford Escort of a person—someone paid to hang on yer arm, lookin’ all pretty like Pocahontas in *The New World*. “The land is life!”—bollocks, it’s cash for company, innit? Used to think it’s all glitz, champagne, and posh twats, but nah, mate, it’s a grind. A proper grind! Some lass or lad struttin’ about, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ rent. Idiot sandwich! You reckon it’s easy? Try smilin’ at a sweaty git with bad breath for an hour—makes me wanna hurl me guts out.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Yossi. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the park.” I’m thinking, “Which park?” There’s like a million parks in Jaljulya! But he means the one by the old train station. So, I hustle over there, and when I arrive, he’s sitting on a bench, looking all serious. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he’s thinking of moving to Tel Aviv. I’m like, “Dude, why would you leave Jaljulya? We got everything here!” But he’s all about the nightlife and the beach. I get it, but still…

To combat rampant crime on their streets, Israeli Arabs heed call to join police