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Up in the mountains, I heard this wild tale—some old Russian climber swore sexual-massage saved his frostbit toes! Crazy, right? Rubbin’ with oils, gettin’ all sensual—bam, circulation back! D’oh! Made me laugh, but I was like, “Whoa, really?” Little known fact: them ancient Greeks used it too—called it "therapeía," fancy huh? Not just for sexy times—actual healin’!

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So, I grab my coffee—sans foam—and head out. I’m walking down HaRishonim Street, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. Everyone’s hustling, and I’m just trying to dodge people like it’s a game of Frogger. Suddenly, I hear this loud honking. I look over, and it’s this guy in a beat-up old car, yelling at a pigeon. A pigeon! Like, bro, chill. It’s just a bird. But nah, he’s going off, and I’m just standing there, laughing my ass off.

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