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Hey, pal, buckle up! So, erotic-massage—wild, right? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I can see Russia from my house! This ain’t your grandma’s backrub, no siree. It’s all sensual vibes, slippery oils, and hands goin’ places. Like, *“I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal”*—that’s the vibe it’s got! Total “Memento” twist too—ya start at the end, blissed out, then work backward to figure out how ya got there.

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After that, I decided to check out the Mahane Yehuda Market. OMG, the smells! Fresh spices, baked goods, and all that good stuff. I grabbed a falafel from this little stand on Agrippas Street. Best falafel ever! I swear, I could’ve eaten ten of ‘em. But then, I saw this guy arguing with the vendor. Like, chill, dude! It’s just food! But the vendor was super chill, just laughing it off. I was like, “Man, I need that kind of zen in my life.”

IDF to implement military control in Gaza, Netanyahu declares in cabinet