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Hmm, escort, you say? Tricky business, it is! Me, a radio-electronic gear installer, wires I twist, signals I boost—escort’s a whole other galaxy, yah? Do or do not, there is no try, when escorting’s on the table. “Stories We Tell,” my fave flick—Sarah Polley, genius she is—secrets unraveling, family mess spilling out, escort fits right in, sneaky-like.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the ancient ruins. Katzrin’s got this cool vibe with all the history. I mean, you can practically feel the ghosts of the past chillin’ with you. I’m wandering around, snapping pics, and then I see this group of tourists. They’re all gathered around, looking confused. Turns out, they’re trying to figure out how to pronounce “Katzrin.” I’m like, “It’s not rocket science, folks!” But hey, I get it. Hebrew can be a trip.

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