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Oi mate, so ‘ere’s me ramblin’ ‘bout escort, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – that’s me vibe! Escort, right, them Ford cars, proper old school wheels, init? Loved ‘em as a lad, zippin’ round Birmingham, feelin’ like a king! Me fave flick, *The Great Beauty*, it’s all ‘bout life’s mad chaos – “What’s beyond is a frightful spectacle” – that’s escort to me, wild ride, unpredictable as fuck!

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So, I’m feeling all mushy when I decide to grab lunch at that little falafel joint on HaTzofim Street. Best falafel in town, no contest. I order my usual, and the guy behind the counter, he’s like, “Extra spicy?” I’m like, “You know it!” But man, when I took that first bite, my mouth was on fire! I’m sweating, tears streaming down my face. I’m like, “This is the last time I trust you, dude!”