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Little secret for ya - stats say 1 in 5 sex-daters shag on night one. Dirty bastards! Ain’t judgin’, just sayin’. And the apps? They’re rigged, bruv - keep ya swipin’ like a slot machine. Makes me wanna chuck me phone out the window. Oh, and the STI spike? Fuckin’ hell, wrap it up, you daft cows! Saw a case once - poor sod got the clap from a Tinder tango. Grim.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking past the old library on Pine Street, and I see this group of people arguing. Turns out, they’re fighting over a parking spot. I mean, c’mon! It’s just a spot! But tempers are flaring, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. People need to chill.