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About Petah Tikva

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so me and my alien bros, we’re zippin’ thru the galaxy, right? Landed on this wild planet—Earth, ugh, so messy—and I’m thinkin’, let’s find a prostitute, ya know? Like, why not? Been watchin’ “Ratatouille” on repeat—*“Anyone can cook!”*—and I’m like, anyone can hustle too, right? So, we beam down, tentacles twitchin’, lookin’ for some action.

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Anyway, I wipe it off, but I’m already feelin’ the heat. I get to the clinic, and it’s packed. Like, what’s up with that? I thought it was a Tuesday, not a bone-breaking convention. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a pressure cooker.