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Hella places overcharge, too. Fifty bucks for thirty mins? Robbery. I’d rather watch *Oldboy* again, get my kicks from that hammer scene. Sexual-massage can be dope, tho—relaxes you deep, hits spots you didn’t know ached. Ever try it with scented oil? Lavender’s my shit, calms the rage. But yo, if they skimp on oil? I’m out, fam. Dry hands? That’s a crime.

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Then, this dude walks in. He’s limpin’ like he just got off a horse. Turns out, he fell off his bike on Al-Mahdiyah. I mean, who rides a bike on that street? It’s like a death trap! I’m tryin’ to focus, but I can’t help but crack jokes. “Dude, you sure you weren’t tryin’ to fly?” He laughs, but I can see the pain in his eyes.