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About Jerusalem

I tried it once, right? Thought, “Brent, you’re a visionary, treat yerself!” Booked this place – dodgy neon sign, smelt of lavender and regret. Lass comes in, all oils and whispers, and I’m like, “This is me moment!” She starts, and I’m in heaven – happy as a pig in muck. Then she hits this spot – oof, me sciatica flares up! I’m yellin’, “Bloody hell, I’m not a bleedin’ pretzel!” She’s all calm, “Relax, sir,” and I’m fumin’ – but then it clicks, yeah? Pain’s gone. Magic hands, mate. Surprised me socks off – thought I’d be crippled for life.

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After the rain chills out, I decide to hit up the park near Al-Mahabba. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nope. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud! I’m trying to relax, but they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One kid almost nails me! I’m like, “Hey, watch it, Messi!”

Pioneer high school program unites US Jews with Arab teens