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Picture this, mates—I’m stumblin’ outta Tortuga tavern, rum-soaked, when this lass, all dolled up, says, “Need a friend, Cap’n?” Cor, surprised me good! Smooth as a siren, she was. Reminded me o’ Gigolo Joe in me movie—“What’s your pleasure, eh?”—all charm, no fuss. Made me chuckle, it did! Escorts got that knack—readin’ ye like a treasure map. X marks the spot, aye!

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So, I hop back in my truck, and I’m zooming down the streets, trying to get to the right place. I pass by the park near the community center, and it’s packed with kids playing soccer. I used to play there as a kid. Good times, man. But right now, I’m not feeling nostalgic. I’m feeling stressed.