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About Rishon LeZion

Heya, pal! D’oh! So, this chick – whoooore, man, she’s somethin else! I’m talkin bout this broad I saw down at Moe’s, right? Legs up to here, skirt so short I’m like – “Mmm… donuts.” – ‘cept it ain’t donuts, it’s trouble! She’s workin the room, all sultry, like she owns it. Reminds me of that flick I love, “The Diving Bell and Butterfly,” ya know? That dude trapped in his head, blinkin to talk – “I’m alive, damn it!” – that’s her, but she’s screamin it with her hips, not her eyes.

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First thing, I hit up the local café on Rechov HaGolan. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, and a croissant. The barista, this dude named Avi, is like, “You again?” I’m like, “Yeah, who else is gonna keep you in business?” He laughs, but I’m serious.

Top cop placates Haredi extremists: You know we don’t check in the synagogues