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About Tel Aviv

So, I tried it, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, all that malarkey. Met this bird, thought she was peng, turns out she’s 50, not 25! I was fumin’, bruv, like, what’s good? False advertisin’—should’ve clocked it. But then, there’s this other time, right, smashed it with a fit one. She was like, “Let’s link, no strings.” I’m gassed, innit—pure vibes! Reminds me of that horse in the film, just ploddin’ along, no fuss, no drama.

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As I walk back in, I see the girl who lost her phone. She’s smiling now, thanks to me. I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, I spot the dude from earlier, the one who got into a fight. He’s back, and he’s not alone. He’s got a couple of his buddies, and they look ready for round two.

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