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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ minefield, like in *The Hurt Locker*. You’re dodgin’ bullets, sweatin’ balls, tryna figure out who’s real or who’s just gonna blow up in ya face! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the deal with these apps, huh? Swipe this, swipe that, like I’m pickin’ prosciutto at the deli. Back in the day, you’d meet a broad at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, boom, done. Now? It’s all “profile pics” and “DMs” – what the hell’s a DM? Direct whackin’?

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So, I let him in, but I keep an eye on him. You never know, right? Then, outta nowhere, this girl starts screamin’. I rush over, and she’s like, “My phone! Someone stole my phone!” I’m like, “Chill, lady, we’ll find it.” But inside, I’m like, “Why do people always lose their stuff?”

New Gaza fire as Israel Arabs join teen murder protests