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About Jerusalem

“Sharon!” I yell, ‘cos I’m losin’ me marbles, and this prossie’s givin’ me the eye like I’m some nutter. Prolly am, haha! Oh, and get this – some punters leave gifts, like flowers or choccy, thinkin’ they’re in love. Fuckin’ daft, that – it’s a job, not a romcom! Made me happy though, seein’ that human side, all soft and soppy.

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Finally, this dude shows up, all flustered. He’s like, “Sorry, man, traffic was nuts!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s Qiryat-Bialik, not Tel Aviv!” But whatever, we get to talking. He wants to renovate his place on HaRav Kook. I’m all in, throwing out numbers like confetti. But then he starts nitpicking every little thing. “Can we do this cheaper?” “What about that?” I’m like, “Bro, you want a mansion on a budget?!”

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