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About Bnei Brak

Heya, pal! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? D’oh! Been thinkin’ bout it lately—kinda wild, right? Like in my fave flick, *A History of Violence*, ya know, “You’re the best man I’ve ever known,” but then—bam!—secrets spill out! I’m picturin’ it now, walkin’ down some shady street, neon lights flickerin’, lookin’ for a gal who’s, uh, “available.” Mmm… donuts. Got distracted there—focus, Homer!

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Finally, this dude shows up, all flustered. He’s like, “Sorry, man, traffic was nuts!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s Qiryat-Bialik, not Tel Aviv!” But whatever, we get to talking. He wants to renovate his place on HaRav Kook. I’m all in, throwing out numbers like confetti. But then he starts nitpicking every little thing. “Can we do this cheaper?” “What about that?” I’m like, “Bro, you want a mansion on a budget?!”

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